Did you know that I was Prince Charming? Sure, I may have only
been an adolescent boy but I was going to grow up to be the one who rescued the
Princess and with her live happily ever after. Because that’s where I would find
complete happiness: in the presence of the most beautiful and flawless woman I’d
ever lay eyes on. I would recognize her worth and she’d recognize mine and we’d
have all we’d ever need. Our love would magically provide home, health, and everything
else we might want. They’d probably write books and make movies detailing our
perfect love. And it would all start at first sight. One look was all we’d need
and we’d be “head over heels” in love.
“That’s stupid!” These are the words I heard from a good
friend as I told her about my idea of love. By this time I was a 24 year old
grown man who still clung to romantic love being the end all of life. And why wouldn’t
I have? Some of my closest childhood companions were Disney movies. And just
about every secular song I ever heard outside of church was about “when a man
loves a woman”. The fact is, our culture glorifies romantic love. Just two
nights ago as Annette and I watched “Downton Abbey” (I never claimed to be a
man’s man), one of the main characters was told that if she’d marry him “every
waking moment would be devoted to her happiness.” Turn on the radio and I
guarantee you’ll hear a similar promise within seconds. This kind of sentiment
is praised as sweet and romantic. Many would probably say that this is how it
should be.
The Church has even participated in this phenomenon. For
example, I was encouraged to keep my virginity intact because one day I would meet
the “the one” and all my dreams would be fulfilled in her. But while saving
myself for my future wife was and is biblical, looking to another person to
fulfill us is not. Unfortunately, this idea has wreaked havoc in so many
marriages as many have looked to their spouses to deliver something impossible
for them to give. One of my closest friends, a Christian, has had several relationships
end disastrously because they’ve continued to look to be swept away in a fog of
romantic love, where all they can see is each other.
I used to think this was beautiful. Now, I see it for what
it is: Camouflaged Idolatry. It looks good, because after all, we’re supposed
to love and be faithful to our spouse. But as with so many things that God
creates and calls good, it’s been perverted. Romantic love has become another vehicle
for stealing away our highest affection from the only one deserving of it. This
is idolatry. We all worship something, and anything that we adore more than
Christ has become our object of worship. Isn’t it obvious that for so many in
our culture, maybe even for you, seemingly innocent romantic love has become the
idol of choice?
So am I suggesting that we do away with romantic love? Not
at all. I’m calling us to keep it in its proper place with proper perspective.
God made marriage. He invented romantic love between a man and a woman. It’s a
wonderful gift. And its primary purpose is the same as everything that God has
made: to reveal His glory to mankind that we would know Him, love Him, and be
in awe of Him. Paul writes in Colossians 1:16, “All things were created through
Him and for Him.” In writing this in reference to Jesus, Paul declares that
even our own marriages are not primarily for us, they are to be for Jesus. How
so? In many ways, but let me point out two extremely important ones: First, to
be a picture of the beautiful relationship that people can have with Jesus as a
part of His bride (Ephesians 5:25-33). Second, to help and spur each other on to
carry out Jesus’ command to all Christians to be disciple-making disciples
(Matthew 28:18-20).
If you’re married or plan to be, your spouse will one day
stand before the Lord and give an account for their life. Have you ever thought
about that? You need to be helping prepare them for that day, not simply engaging
in temporal romantic idolatry with them.
After calling my romantic notions “stupid”, my close friend
pointed out the blessing of marrying your best friend and having a relationship
built on truth and not on fantasy. She struck a chord with me that day. In fact, she strikes a chord with me every
day. She is a very wise woman and I’m incredibly blessed to be married to her. Sometimes
it’s a fine line I walk between worshipping her and worshipping the one who
made her. But it’s a line that I must not cross. Not when I think about the Cross.
And this is what we must do. Think long and hard about the amazing and perfect
love Christ displayed for us at the Cross. He is the prince that came to rescue
us. We are His bride. This is where we find fulfillment! Jesus is the only one
who can truly meet our needs. He is the only one who will never hurt us. He is
the lover of our souls. When we dwell on this, it shouldn’t be hard to adore
Him more than anyone or anything else. With all your heart, soul, mind and
strength, love Him above all else for it is with Him that His people will
live happily, ever, after.
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